How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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