I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
