Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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