I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
