ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
operation harelip BJ is a go
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
