Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
