One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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