We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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