been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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