p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
