i was born a porn star she said
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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