I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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