I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
