but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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