I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You can't motorboat a personality
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
