im drinking this country out of the recession.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
