Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
