if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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