ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
