Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
