trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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