her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
