Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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