the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
