Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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