saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
