Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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