if only i could text you this smell
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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