Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
