so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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