I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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