seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
