We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
