my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
