what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
