if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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