she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
