When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize