Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
