there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
