I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
