as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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