I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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