I wannas sexs uuuuu
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
