It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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