How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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