The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
