well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize