New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
