he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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