You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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